Therapeutic Yoga For Loss

Several months ago I joined an unintentional new sisterhood.  A sisterhood of courageous women who have experienced miscarriage.  This article is more like a letter from my heart for anyone who is going through a significant loss.  Lay down, relax and have a cup of herbal tea.

Wether you feel less alone or need some healing tips on how to bring your body back into balance, may this help bring you the some healing.

After several days of receiving the news, I began to reach out to close friends. I was astounded how many had gone through the same loss.

For everyone I began to confide in, we all felt the same.  Having a miscarriage is one of the most profound and heartbreaking experiences of our lives.  It will forever leave an imprint.

My story is probably similar to yours.  When I went to my first ultrasound at nine weeks there was a little body but no heartbeat.  Even though the pregnancy for us was a surprise, as you can imagine, we were beyond devastated.

It warmed my heart when family and friends reached out, I’d still send most of the calls to voicemail.

Mostly I needed quiet. Honor this. 

I did have a dear friend, lets call her Tracy, who has had nine miscarriages.  Unimaginable. Now she has 4 beautiful lively kids.  So if you’re still trying to conceive, there’s hope. Tracy was most definitely my air, she helped me breathe.  This amazing woman was my confidant and I am blessed she had my back.

For me to move forward, I had to help my physical and emotional body begin to heal.

Since I was mostly keeping to myself, I read every blog possible.  The blogs I resonated with I even read two or three times. Don’t feel crazy if you’re doing the same.

A few weeks ago, my best friend sent me an article Mark Zuckerberg wrote regarding his wife’s miscarriages.  This prompted me to share some of what I went through.  It may sound cliche, but if this article can help ONE woman, it was worth putting myself out there.

Thankfully, being in the wellness industry, I had tools in my toolbox and many resources available to me.  Even though I didn’t feel like it, I had to make the choice to use them.

I reached out to my female yoga teacher who lives overseas. Her loving advice helped me to grieve in a therapeutic way and I am forever grateful.

As much as I wanted to get back into working my body back to my regular yoga practice, my teacher advised me to take is easy with yoga for the first 4-6 weeks after my miscarriage. Even though I had given this dive to others, somehow, in my sadness, I’d forgotten that what was best for me.

She reminded me that restorative poses, like when I’m on my moon cycle, are best.  My teacher reminded me that any forward folding (except in lotus for a very short time) would disrupt the healing process.

My teacher also suggested I spend a lot of time in nature, particularly moving water.  I had to chuckle because I don’t live that close to the ocean.

However, I do live very close to the LA River that sorta flows.  That was a great start.  I tell you, even walking by the LA River helped me release on an emotional and physical level. Of course I took as many trips as I could to the beach too.

Walking in the sand, getting my feet wet felt freeing.  At times I would dance.  I often cried.  I no longer felt the world caving in on my chest.  I felt new possibilities.

There’s also the lovely Lake Hollywood, a 3 mile hike, the lake surrounded by trees.  This hike is pretty flat.  Its a great way to move the body and not overexert yourself.

I was surprised.  I felt the energy of my baby’s spirit most at Lake Hollywood.  Lean into this if it happens to you. The spirit was strong, fierce and loving.

Gazing at the Hollywood sign, I was overwhelmed with how many dreams I already had for this child.  It wasn’t meant to be and I had to learn to let them go.

Now you, me, can dare to dream again.

I truly believe everything happens for a reason.

But what my friend said may sound more fitting in the moment, “It sucks but it does get better.”

Give yourself grace. I cried at the pharmacist. I cried on the acupuncture table. I burst into tears leaving a non related message over the phone.  For real, at times you’ll feel pissed.  One evening I punched my pillow over and over.

Along with yoga I also journaled and meditated.

These practices lead me feel compassion for myself and others. I had to forgive a higher power. Needed to create healthy boundaries. And definitely dream new dreams.

Thank you for letting me share my story.  Right now there’s a lot in the news about the challenges of pregnancy and postpartum.  Ladies and men, lets continue to share and support each other for life.

Thanks so much for being here,

Cindi